If you’re wondering what a narcissist does when he’s found out, then you’re in the right place. In fact, although it may seem like an unpredictable person, in reality it is quite the opposite, usually the reactions are always the same and only in extreme cases breaks the rules. Let’s find out case by case!
What a Narcissist Does When Discovered: The Turning Point
Narcissus can’t stand being discovered! The reason is simple, he is sure to be smarter than his prey, but there are people much more intuitive than him who can understand when he lies and how he does it. Unfortunately, it’s going to take some time to realize that, we have to credit the narcissist with how much he’s trained over the years to find enough manipulative strategies to hold the majority of people.
To lie, however, we need memory and life sometimes puts us in front of so many commitments and impulses that some mistakes could escape. So, at some point the truth will come out and the narcissist will be discovered.
But be careful, in other cases, however, he won’t worry too much about hiding the truth and if he does it is because his intention is to drive away the current partner to engage in new adventures.
Here’s what a narcissist could do after being discovered:
- Block on social networks
- He plays the victim
- He pretends nothing has happened
- He runs away
- He makes you feel guilty
Of course, he’s not going to implement all these strategies together, but he’s going to adapt them on a case-by-case basis. Let’s go through it one at a time to see which circumstances they fit most.
When He Is Discovered, He Blocks You
In this case, the extent of the damage is really important for him to put his head in the sand and hide. Usually such an attitude comes from a guilt that he did not expect to be blamed.
Moreover, not necessarily such behavior will come as a result of a quarrel or a real test. In fact, he may also have realized how serious the discovery you made that you decided to run away before being singled out once and for all.
In most cases, however, it could change the table and first deny that attitude and then, as a punishment, block any kind of contact. It’s a form of showing control, but in reality, he’s just hiding from the damage he’s created.
When a Narcissist Found Out Becomes the Victim
Typical behavior of the narcissist covert, able to play the victim to make up for a possible problem he created. We will talk later about the feelings of guilt that it could create, but its making victim often, is not related to make the prey feel defective, but on the contrary to give it a sense of “red cross nurse”.
Then, he will give the feeling of being defenseless and sensitive, common reactions of the abandoned narcissist. As if it were opening up once and for all to his partner, he will justify his mistakes by pointing out the reasons (usually painful) that prompted him to do so.
This will enable the partner to reassess her decision to leave.
When Narcissist pretends nothing has happened
In this case, instead, we speak of narcissists overt. Often little empathic and almost supernatural coldness. Here when they get into trouble and you put them in front of the plain truth. They’re just gonna look at you and say they didn’t do anything too serious.
Indeed, in extreme cases, they will use no contact with their prey. But they won’t do it to escape, but at the most to exercise some control. It will be a form of punitive silence which, combined with carelessness, will turn into a strategy to make the victim feel confused. In fact, they are skillful teachers in raising a doubt and even worse in keeping it alive.
In such a situation, it is essential to ask for an objective opinion of friends or relatives to realize that in reality Narcissus is only throwing water at his mill.
And When the Narcissist Escapes?
If he’s running away, it’s usually because he’s disinterested or he’s found something better. Also, when a narcissist never comes back, it can also mean that he was put in a position to leave the partner who, after discovering it, understood, that he is not the person he thought he was.
In all cases, Narcissus escapes either because he does not want to take responsibility for his actions or because he does not want to be cornered. When such attitudes occur, it is better to let it go without asking too many questions!
He Might even make you feel guilty
And finally, as mentioned above, here’s the case where the narcissist makes you feel guilty. We’re talking about a very unfair attitude. In fact, the fact of trying to make someone feel guilty about not doing anything, just to still have an influence on it makes him as a person from whom to get away as soon as possible.
Furthermore, this attitude is a very strong form of manipulation which can only be managed by detaching itself from the situation. In fact, the narcissist bursts just when he realizes that he no longer has any influence on the people around him.
For this reason, with constant commitment and tenacity, you can definitely protect yourself from this type of attitudes. What else is a way to regain some form of control from him.