A narcissistic father shows himself as an authoritarian figure, full of himself and trying to have great control over the people around him. But how does he exercise this power? What are the behavioral patterns that allow him to master in most situations? In this article we will try to answer these questions!
Narcissistic Father and Daughter
The common attitudes of a father towards the daughter should be of love and support. On average, a father is able to warn his daughter of possible dangers, such as classic boyfriends/ and who will try to change it or who will judge her for what she is.
A father is able to pave the way for his daughter’s success, showing her the other side of the coin. The one you don’t know yet, allowing you to grow constructively and emotionally intact. But when you’re dealing with a narcissistic dad, things change radically.
A narcissus, unfortunately, is unable to perceive empathy even from his offspring. For this reason, he will try to be the center of the world in the family, he will feed on the attentions that a daughter should otherwise receive and above all make her feel judged for her choices and for her way of living life.
We are in an ever-expanding society, change is always around the corner and young people are ready to take life in the wind to get in the game. This is never an easy situation. Finding a job is complicated, as it is also putting up a family and buying a home. In addition, women (finally) have achieved the emancipation that was due to her and for a narcissistic man and father these are not advantages. But on the contrary great disadvantages.
Why?
Because he can’t take the blow of seeing his daughter build herself and maybe do it in a much better way than he did. He’ll never accept the fact that she feels good about herself, because he doesn’t accept himself first. Or he’ll never stand for her to succeed by becoming the sunshine of the family. All this attention belongs to him!
So how can a daughter bear all this weight?
Surely it becomes difficult to think of having to get away from your father, also because the father is one and as such “you have to keep it”. In these cases, however, it becomes very complex to consider holding all these judgments that would only create negative feelings and problems of low self-esteem.
The best solution is to take note of the fact that there will probably never come a time when you can be accepted by him. In the end the roads will have to be divided, everything to be able to live a life full of joy and satisfaction, but especially with those who really appreciate them.
There will be difficult moments to deal with, complex emotional states to control but with dedication, tenacity and in most cases the help of a good therapist will be able to take back control of his life.
Narcissistic Father and Son
With a son, the sulfa will be more or less the same but with different points. In fact, unlike a daughter, the son usually tries to emulate the father. He takes it as an example to follow and will at all costs try to be worthy of it.
The problem of having a narcissist or emotional manipulator in the family is that it will be practically impossible to emulate and not because it is a prodigious genius, but because it will tend to belittle the son for every success obtained. This does not help at all the self-esteem of a guy who has to put himself in the game to deal with the big problems that daily life proposes.
In addition, it will aim to create feuds, to question the brothers to make it clear who is “the best”, to the point of creating people ready to satisfy him at all times. In order to get along with Dad, they will do anything, follow the work that he will say, they will strive to shine and he will play with an excellent positive reinforcement.
Or rather, whenever one of them will do exactly what he asks, here he will be rewarded! But it will take only one action, taken by initiative and not approved by narcissistic father to make a ruinous fall from the summit on which, with difficulty, you had arrived.
How do you get out of this kind of pressure?
The solutions are not so different from those that a female daughter should undertake. That is, we must try to move away from this figure that does not do well and try to create its own path, taking note of the fact that dreams and desires must always be lived. Or at least you have to go through with it without worrying about other people’s judgment.
Low self-esteem will be the master, so if you feel you can’t do it, the help of a psychologist will be essential. Thanks to the presence of an expert, in fact, you will face joys and pains buried for a long time and thanks to the melting of these knots that you can start to see the light again.
Narcissistic Father: What Consequences?
As mentioned above, the consequences will differ from case to case and from person to person. Moreover, it is already difficult in itself to understand how to behave with a narcissist to try not to sink, the situation becomes even more complicated when dealing with a parent. So much so that these situations are very delicate and there is no manual to solve them in a single stroke. What will not differ too much, however, are the consequences that could result from it.
Let’s see some examples:
- Low self-esteem. This will be the first ever and also the most common. In fact, the fact of always feeling wrong will only weaken self-confidence. Surely this is one of the points you need to work to take control of your life.
- Fear in launching into new adventures. Life is not always bitter. There are times when he offers us great opportunities that might be scary. Like low self-esteem, there is also a fear of getting involved. The fact that you’ve always heard people say that you can’t do something important for your life doesn’t help. Because of this, there is a risk that trains will only pass through once.
- Difficulties in relationships. Not having had a healthy and constructive example of a relationship from which to take example, here you will have difficulty in finding the right balance to set up a family. It will be difficult for a man to find a woman who can be appreciated by his father. On the contrary, for a woman, instead, it will be difficult to trust a man in the hope that this will accept it as it really is. It will be even more difficult to create relationships with people of the same sex, not so much for the relationships themselves but for the approval of a father who will hardly grant.
How to defend yourself?
The most useful way out of this situation is to find an expert who is able to create a psychotherapeutic path to heal wounds. Moreover, as I have said many times, you cannot in any way allow these kinds of emotions to take control, thus preventing you from living the desired life.
People are beautiful because they are different and being able to surround themselves with people who can give positive emotions is very important, because in doing so you will be able to receive new stimuli to appreciate the world with different eyes.
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