The return of the narcissist is a great classic in a relationship with this kind of individuals. The reasons and times can differ from person to person and the difference is also the intensity of the experience. We understand together how, when and why this happens.
The Return of the Narcissist: Why does he come back?
The fateful question is: “why does the narcissist come back?” and the answer to this question is very broad. Meanwhile, we can say with certainty that the returns of the narcissist all have a common denominator, namely power!
What matters most to Narcissus is whether he can have charm and authority over his victims. His most popular scheme is to start with the love bombing, then move on to devaluation and finally to the discard. These manipulative techniques confuse the preys and manage to increase the state of dependence towards him.
But when the narcissist realizes that the victim is recovering from his wounds, he will try to retrace his steps. This is to give the necessary jolt to make her return to a state of submission, his desire is to feel desired and wanted and a departure involves the exact opposite. The methods with which it does it are different and studied tailored to the prey. But what are they?
How does the narcissist come back?
He is an unbeatable strategist, in fact during the love bombing phase he studies his victim in a meticulous way. He’s able to find most of his weaknesses, so it’ll be a breeze to try and hang up.
The most popular methods are the following:
- Romantic gestures: A nice bouquet of unexpected flowers, a ticket or anything that can open the way to a possible return are a good way to move.
- Contact friends in common: If you have friends in common, they will be the first ones they trust. This also to have a clearer picture of the situation and understand how to move. It is obvious that they must minimize the possibility of failure.
- Showing up in places frequented by the victim: If they know they can not leave with blatant methods that can compromise the result, they prefer to act gradually, making themselves seen from a distance to study the situation.
- An innocent message: How can I not respond to a greeting message during the Christmas period? They are only half-hearted to study the situation. They’re tapping the ground.
- Victimized attitudes: Here the thing begins to get serious, they try to get attention by instilling feelings of guilt and moments of panic in the victim. Concern is a good means of requiring the presence of someone and they do not make too many scruples in implementing it.
There may be other ways in which they will do it and studied specifically on the victim in question, these are however the most common and to which attention must be paid.
The Return of the Narcissist: When is he coming back?
Times are the only thing that doesn’t have a pattern. It depends on the victim, in fact, if this one will distance him completely and ignore him in an excessive way, then the narcissist will try to return to see if he can save the situation in some way. Beware, he does not because he has a positive feeling towards the victim, but always for opportunistic purposes.
He could come back after a few days but there are cases in which he reappears even after years! This time frame, so little defined, confuses his preys, which very often wait months and months without seeing it coming back. The advice is to use this period to find yourself and not give weight. It may be difficult, but once you see the light at the end of the tunnel you will finally feel reborn.
It is often thought that the perverse narcissist always returns, it is not always so in reality! In fact, in the event that the victim has become aware of the suffering he suffered can implement the no contact. This helps a great deal to keep him away, thus taking away any form of power. When a narcissist stops looking for you, it’s the best time to look at the future with different eyes.