The Overt Narcissist is a subject with great delusions of grandeur, which is perfect in the eyes of the people with whom he interacts, and who tries in every way to focus on beauty, comfort and appearance to feed his ego.
Characteristics of the Overt Narcissist
When we talk about narcissism, we think of a person with great self-respect and who loves attention. Well, the pathological Overt narcissist fits right into these characteristics, but there are others that distinguish him:
- Search for admiration: These people love to be the center of attention, they love flattery and admiration. They live their lives with their heads held high and when they happen to meet people who are better than they tend to belittle them. This is because in reality they have a low self-esteem and instead of reacting happily to the successes of others are overwhelmed by envy.
- Opportunism: They want to arrive and to do so they tend to manipulate people who are close to them even in non-amorous contexts. Very often they come into contact with people who can be useful to them to try to get to their purpose.
- Very developed sense of importance: The Overt Narcissists want to feel important, envied and unique. The fact of owning luxury items, a lot of money in a checking account or a nice house is a symptom of this form of disorder. Obviously it is not the final verdict to judge the presence of a psychological disorder, but it is part of the characteristics that distinguish the narcissist type Overt. Everything is always tied by a low self-esteem. Luxury draws attention to him and makes him feel special in the eyes of others.
- Arrogance: Yes, they tend to be arrogant! But they only do it with those who can afford it, in other cases instead treat the people next to them with unheard of kindness. The latter is just a technique to smooth the hair of the victim to achieve well-defined purposes.
- Liars: To appear and have their praises, they tend to lie. They do it both to keep the foot in two shoes and manage more loving relationships, and to achieve other purposes that could feed their hunger for success. In short, this is also a great manipulative weapon.
Overt Narcissist in Love: How do you behave?
Narcissists tend to choose their victims based on the low self-esteem they possess. They hardly ever rely on strong subjects to subdue them.
They are very clever observers, as soon as they realize that they can get in touch and manipulate codependent or sensitive people, they sneak into their lives with glittering and charismatic courtship, all to make them fall into their network.
Love Bombing
This is where it all begins. In fact, it almost seems that the relationship with the narcissist is perfect. There will be a great courtship, made of gestures of love, attention and romance of all kinds. What they’re trying to prove to the victim is that they’re people tailored to her. In reality, they are only studying the situation, they often concentrate on grasping information and weaknesses to use later as weapons.
Devaluation
After some periods, usually a few months but sometimes even a few years, the Overt Narcissist begins to devalue the victim. The practice consists in instilling insecurities in it, are frequent moments of disappearance, he does not answer the phone or even triangulation with other victims to unleash jealousy. I mean, anything that can lower the victim’s self-esteem is put in place.
This method serves to create a phase of dependence and guilt on the people who suffer, it seems as if the prey of the Narcissus have enormous faults to atone for. But it’s not, it’s just a manipulative tactic.
Discard
When the victim has reached the peak of her endurance and will at all costs clarify with her beloved Narcissus, she will realize that this will no longer be there. It is a very painful torture because those who suffer it do not realize the mistakes he has made (also because he has not made) and yearns to try to bring back the partner for which he lost his mind. In fact, the sad truth is that there is no one to bring back, the person the victims fall in love with does not exist. It is a wax mask that when melted will show the worst side of the narcissist.
At this stage the narcissus will very often be unattainable, will not return your calls and you may get rumors of any other flames in his life. You could enter a phase of anxiety, here in fact many victims lose their lucidity and do everything to get the attention of the narcissist, without realizing that the more they look for him and the more they nourish him with the attention he seeks.
No Contact with the Overt Narcissist
Basically the narcissist, after the discard, enters a sort of punitive silence. This causes the victim to feel really bad, because he has no means to communicate with him, he looks for every possible method to do it, but it is as if every attempt is in vain.
At a certain point, after a very painful period and often thanks to the help of an expert, the victims manage to get out or almost. When addiction ends, the most used weapon to wound the narcissist is the No Contact. At this point, the victim interrupts all contact with the narcissist and steals all the attention he gave him before.
This is one of the things the Narcissus endure the least, and this is where he will try to bring you back. The main means by which it will do so are really obvious, for example:
- Random encounters
- Befriending your friends
- Get word to you about him
- Contact you directly
- And many others too…
I mean, any excuse to figure out if he still has some leverage over you. And that’s where you have to grit your teeth and avoid getting him back into your life anyway. There’s no worse pain than denying them the emotional nourishment they need.
Resources:
- https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/overt-narcissist-personality-disorder-adapted-from-article-collins
- http://www.appstate.edu/~hillrw/narcissism/arrogantnarcissist.html
