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Narcissism: What is in the mind of a Narcissist?

Narcissism, also called narcissistic personality disorder (or narcissistic personality disorder), afflicts those who possess an excessive sense of self-importance. These are in search of a continuous admiration and possess a strong state of lack of empathy towards others.

Such an attitude can be mistaken as a great dose of self-esteem, in reality it is quite the opposite. These personalities possess low self-esteem and are very sensitive to criticism.

Narcissistic Personality Disorder and the Myth of Narcissus: From Antiquity to Modern Days…

There are several versions of the myth of Narcissus. The most famous is the Roman version of Ovid, this tells that Narcissus, son of the river deity Cephysius and the nymph Liriope, who considering himself too beautiful continued to chase away all the people who fell in love with him.

Liriope, shocked by her son’s extreme beauty, consulted the soothsayer Tiresias, who told her that her son would reach old age only if he never knew himself.

One day, while hunting, Narcissus met the Echo Nymph. Her name was given to her by the goddess Juno, who cursed her for making fun of her, distracting her while her husband, Zeus, was cheating on her with other nymphs. The curse was to repeat everything she was told. And so, when she first saw Narcissus, the nymph Eco tried to communicate with him, but she couldn’t answer any of Narcissus’ questions, instead repeating every question he asked her.

He chased her badly, and the nymph continued to wander through the woods, pining for her unrequited love and becoming only a voice in the valleys.

At this point Nemesis, Zeus’ daughter, outraged by Narcissus’ behavior, decided to punish him. When Narcissus went down to drink from a puddle, he saw his reflection and fell madly in love with himself. From this moment on he realized that that was an impossible love and so he let himself die. From his remains grew flowers that took the name of “Daffodils”.

Types of Narcissism: How many exist?

The story of Narcissus has something fascinating and also extremely truthful. In fact, people who are suffering from narcissistic personality disorder are not able to love a person in a pure way. Their attitudes are very schematic. After finding the person “who suits them” they tend to put her on a pedestal for the first few periods, then disappear and devalue her.

Here are the main types of narcissism:

Why do you fall in love with a narcissist?

The narcissist is a born seducer. He is able to get his victim’s attention as quickly as possible and drop her at his feet without her even noticing (at least at the beginning). But what are the reasons for falling in love with him?

  • Self-confidence: When in the midst of people he is decidedly charismatic, he is able to draw attention to himself and to appear beautiful to the eyes of most people. Obviously, the speech is not only about men but also about women, they are masters of good looks, they know how to look seductive, not only with clothing but also with words.
  • They hold in suspense: In narcissism there is no stability in any way, they know how to hold their prey, and they do it in a meticulous way. They manage to be loved, then they betray, disappear and then return. The victims are often confused and this manipulative game keeps them attached to Narcissus.
  • Great lovers: Men or women with a narcissistic personality disorder have an innate sex endowment, for them it is almost an obligation to be the best in sex. Do they live with the awareness of appearing perfect from every point of view and which weapon if not sex to conquer their victims in a total way?
  • Low self-esteem on the part of the victim: Narcissists favor victims who possess low self-esteem, thus managing to have greater control over them. In fact, these kind of victims seek reassurances and certainties from their partner and in their eyes Narciso can appear the perfect partner.
  • Sensation of uniqueness: Another point in favor of narcissists is to be able to make their flames feel special and unique. Victims of narcissism, at this point they can feel ephemeral feelings that they have never felt in the past. The feeling of uniqueness that he is able to give appears almost like a drug, the more the victim comes into contact with it and the more he wants it. He knows that this is a powerful weapon and gradually begins to “decrease the doses”, thus creating a real state of abstinence.

These are the main reasons a Narcissus is able to control the victim. If you are in an uncomfortable situation and don’t know how to handle it, always remember to rely on an expert, these manipulation techniques can also lead to depressive states. Do not underestimate them.

The Phases of Relationship in Narcissism

Let’s get to the heart of the matter to understand how an individual with narcissistic personality disorder really behaves and what are the stages he tends to implement with his victims. We can say almost with certainty that most narcissists react schematically, then obviously everything goes from case to case.

The phases we are talking about are the following, each of which has its own in-depth article:

The Return of the Narcissist after the Discard: How does it work?

It depends on the cases, there are occasions when the narcissist returns after a short time and others where he makes himself desired for months, but most of the time he always returns. When he disappears for a very long time and you have the feeling that he does not go back on his steps it is a punitive technique.

The No Contact Strategy in Narcissism

I’m sure you’ve heard of this strategy before. It is a very effective method when it comes to narcissism, because it confuses him, depriving him of his main nourishment, namely attentions. This is a very powerful weapon that may seem easy to use but in reality it is not, especially for the victim. It consists in blocking any kind of contact with the narcissus and making itself practically unavailable.

An attitude like that makes him confused and nervous because he has the feeling that he no longer has complete control of the situation.

How Do You Think and Feel Inside a Narcissist?

The answer is only one. He’s lonely. He lives in a constant state of instability, he spends his days sharing moments of superiority with as many moments of solitude. He looks for attentions that, even if they are given to him, unfortunately he does not perceive and his thoughts are directed always and only to the search for a personal realization that will never come given the way in which he tries to obtain it.

In addition, he is a master of ostentation. He flaunts everything he does not have. Mainly love and stable relationships. For this reason, it is easy to see how on social networks you upload photos on photos with the flame of the moment or try to make yourself “desirable” in the eyes of those who watch it.

Even when he has all the women in the world, he will never feel fully accepted, despite the fact that they love him with all of themselves. The cause is that he himself is not accepted as he is, he always lives the days with a bit of repressed anger and he feels perpetually dissatisfied, whatever positive happens to him is never enough for him.

To find an allegorical form to this state of being, we can say that it is like a lion that is always hungry, the more you will feed it, the more hungry it will be. There will be few moments when he can define himself “satiated”.

Obviously, a narcissist should not be blamed for what he does, because he is simply so because of a disorder that can only be cured by a good psychologist.

How is he in everyday life?

Depends. You will meet a narcissus on any occasion, and that is why it is important to learn to deal with them and to manage all their ways of doing so much “details”. For this reason, we decided to deepen all the topics on our Blog.

Here are the most recent ones: