No Contact with Narcissist is a method that is often used and recommended to victims to get away completely. It is very useful to take back the real control of your life. But how does it work? What is the most correct way to apply it?
What is No Contact with Narcissist?
To define this technique, we can say that the victims interrupt all contact with the narcissist. Here are the fronts on which it is used:
- Call blocking: The victim no longer has to answer Narcissus’ calls or messages.
- Avoid common ground: In order not to be in cases that could cause more pain than anything else, it is a good rule not to go to the same places as the narcissist.
- Don’t talk about him with friends in common: Narcissists often ask friends in common to let them know if the victim is still interested. That’s why it’s so important to cut off any kind of communication about him, and your friends don’t have to give him any information about you!
- Changing phone number: This is only in the most extreme cases and only if it is strictly necessary, it is a very powerful method to take all the power away from the narcissist.
- Block it on social networks: Social networks are the window on your world and Narciso might occasionally peek! So blocking it is another technique that is very used to prevent any kind of contact.
Pay Attention: The rule of no contact should only be used when you are sure you can bear it. Below you will find some valuable advice that will help you along the way! Remember that the narcissist feeds on the victim’s weaknesses, so blocking him on every front is a good strategy only if you know you can resist the temptation not to go back. In this case, you would give Narcissus evidence of enormous dependence on him.
How does the narcissist react to the victim’s No Contact?
It depends, there are no predefined rules. The common denominator is that the discovered narcissist does not want to be ignored and above all does not bear in any way to lose power on his preys.
The purpose of the No Contact, however, must not be to harm the narcissist, because once again he is being given an immense importance. On the contrary, this “rescue” technique is useful to regain control of one’s own life. To get rid of the pain and addiction of this kind of toxic relationships!
As for the reactions, each case is to itself. In the meantime, it depends on the character, but when the narcissist collapses because he feels ignored he usually tries to reattach, but only in the early periods. The methods could be part of the love bombing strategy or even victimization. Then, when he realizes there’s no other land, he’ll stop looking for the victim and look for more! The reason is that he needs more supplies and won’t waste time with those who don’t give him.
There are other types of narcissists who will not give any nods in the early periods but will only emerge when the waters have calmed down, usually the narcissist surrenders after having tried them all. But so much depends on the past and the relationship that there was.
When no contact is needed?
This strategy is of no use in cases where the victim is unable to withstand the blow. Detachment from individuals of this kind, which create a lot of addiction, is not easy! That’s why you have to be cold-blooded and have the courage to move on.
Here are some useful tips:
- Distraction: The key is to try not to think about the narcissist, not to wonder what he does and with whom he is. This is the most complex part because here the victim is in a very strong state of addiction. You need to get as much out of this relationship as you can.
- Focus on oneself: Relationships with narcissists lead victims to lose their identity and to be often confused. For this you have to discover yourself again, find new passions or resume old habits, this can really make a difference.
- Avoid any type of contact: There must be no exceptions, the rule of No Contact requires you to avoid, precisely, any type of contact. If you do not feel ready to implement it to the end, maybe blocking it anywhere, with the doubt of not succeeding, we recommend limiting the use of social media. Alternatively, Facebook or Instagram give you the opportunity to hide the updates of the person in question, so as not to put the knife in the wound.
- Never give up: There will be hard times, in which anger will pass and forgiveness will also take over. Going back at this moment is like making all the sacrifices futile. Recontacting the narcissist is never a good idea, these people cannot change and doing so would return to a whirlwind of doubts.
How long should it last?
The time needed to recover completely. There are no preset times, many people take years to recover, others only a few months. Unfortunately, you have to be careful how you feel, sometimes the discouragement might get the better of you. Also, when the narcissist loses control, he always tries them all to take his place in the prey’s life. If you have the feeling of not making it, rather than giving up it is a good idea to ask for a consultation with an expert!