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Narcissistic Triangulation: How to react?

narcissistic triangulation

Narcissistic triangulation is a technique used to drive away or punish the victim. This strategy is adopted after the love bombing (the moment when the narcissist has complete control over the prey) to put it under pressure or to increase its sources of supply. The victim at this stage will feel disoriented and confused by the attitudes of the partner he believed perfect. Let’s find out how it works and how to react.

Narcissistic Triangulation: How does it work?

As we said a few lines up, the triangulation of the narcissist is nothing more than a way to change the cards on the table during the relationship with the victim.

In fact, after the famous phase of love bombing, in which the narcissist will be perfect and kind in every respect. The phase preceding a real devaluation will begin. During the triangulation, the narcissist will start dating other partners without worrying too much about hiding it.

If in the early stages of the relationship appeared always present and loving, in this he will be increasingly absent. The justifications could be related to work or commitments, in reality it is very likely that there is a new victim in his life.

In fact, a narcissist rarely feeds on the attentions of one person at a time. He often prefers to have more victims together that allow him to always have the right supply of energy.

How does a narcissist react when he’s discovered?

The first times the narcissist betrays it is easy not to be discovered. The prey will trust his words and will leave him his space. But when the apology gets thicker and the absences get bigger and bigger, the moment will come when the victim will tend to want to know more.

If you ask the narcissist questions, after discovering him, you will hardly get an answer. He is a clever liar and will deny even before certain evidence. In addition, he could use a technique known as the “gaslighting of the narcissist”. That is, a form of manipulation that consists in confusing the victim by making them believe that they have seen or said something that does not exist.

As you can imagine, there will never be a real confrontation. In fact, they will be only fleeting and meaningless words. The arguments will be ridiculed and the victim will feel increasingly frustrated. This is the stage where you really know what a person with narcissistic personality disorder looks like.

The narcissist always betrays?

Basically, yes. The narcissist betrays because he gets boring of the person next to him and always wants to have someone he can leverage on. That doesn’t mean he can’t have a stable relationship, on the contrary, he could have it and continue to betray without too much trouble.

All that matters is that his oversized ego is always swollen with attention. Narcissus could triangulate with more than two people together, it could be even four or five. From these then he could disappear for long periods and return when he feels the need. The returns will also be like little steps that the narcissist will do to understand if that victim is still there ready to wait for him. Unfortunately, this is a vicious circle that will never break, and to end it, the victim must decide to get out of it.

We must not feel jealousy towards partners with whom the narcissist triangulates, they are also victims and almost certainly are not aware of what Narcissus is doing because most likely even with them will be using the same identical techniques.

But then… how to react to narcissistic triangulation:?

Surely it’s not a good idea to demand loyalty from the narcissist. It is not in his nature to behave like this, moreover, the more he will be made to understand that he is jealous and the more he will continue on his way. He loves every form of attention, in fact Narcissus doesn’t care if you love or hate him, because he doesn’t know the difference, what gives him pleasure are the strong emotions that make him feel important.

The correct way to react is to get away, ignore him and let it go. Almost always, the victim does not accept betrayal and would at all costs try to punish the narcissist, but there are no methods that can knock him out completely.

If not, with the no contact rule that consists in closing every form of contact and cut him completely out of your life. This will remove all the sources of energy supply from which he’s fed, and then you will have the clear feeling of seeing him feel bad.

But be careful! The rule of no contact should not be used to make the narcissist suffer, but rather to make those who apply it feel better. It should be used to give yourself a second chance and not to compete with a person against whom you can not compete. Trying to hurt someone who is not able to feel is impossible. This is a battle already lost at the start!