If you’ve stumbled onto this article, it’s because you’re wondering how to win back the narcissist who made your heart beat so much, to the point of confusing you when he left. If that’s the answer you’re looking for here, then you won’t find it. Because in this article we will explain to you in detail why it is better not to return it and, regardless of the road you decide to take, it is right that you know the pros and cons of that decision.
Why is the narcissist leaves you?
The first question to be answered is this. Why did he leave? The reasons could be caused by a quarrel or any kind of misunderstanding. Often they might not even be there. In fact, it’s not that unusual to see a narcissist leave without explaining himself.
The reason he’s gone is simply because he needs more supplies that unfortunately he’s already taken from you. A person who suffers from narcissistic personality disorder is in fact subject to low self-esteem as opposed to a disproportionate ego. So, to try to find a balance, he’s going to look for people who are feeding his low self-esteem and inflating his ego.
For this reason, he looks for many different people, also known as satellite prey or lovers. He’ll try to get as many people around him as he can to get them to give him all the nourishment he needs.
Unfortunately, in the long run, such preys or become too attached to the narcissist, therefore making him feel in a cage. Consequently, making it complicated the search for new flames or begin to have the doubt that something is wrong. The result will always be the same.
Narcissus can’t stand being bossed around, he also gets bored when he gets what he wants. So he always needs new challenges.
How to Win Back a Narcissist: Some Thought
It would be unfair to say that there are no methods to bring back a narcissist. In fact, these do exist and of course it is right to point out that these are different from case to case. But there are common denominators that can achieve the desired result. We have already covered the topic in the article that explains how to conquer a narcissist, but let’s go more specifically and see how to make it come back:
- The narcissist loves the challenge. If you’ve been reading to us for a while now, you will have realized that this is what he longs for. That is, conquer unknown territories and it will do so for life. For this reason, after the love bombing you will see it triangular with other people. So being happy, carefree and not focused on their return may arouse in him the curiosity to know why you are not constantly thinking about his return.
- No Contact. The dear old system of not looking for him and resisting his returns could rekindle in him the need for challenge and, therefore, tease the idea of wanting again to have all that great power over you.
- Jealousy. If unfortunately, he sees you with someone he doesn’t like or with whom he competes because he has the feeling that this is much more interesting than him. Well, he’s not going to think twice about competing for what’s his.
As you can see, any attitude that takes his power away from him is a challenge and as such must be won.
How to Win Back a Narcissist: Why doesn’t it make sense?
Now let’s try to understand why it is better not to look for such trouble. In the meantime, let’s start by saying that the narcissist comes and goes the same way you treat your dishwasher. To be more clear, if the dishwasher breaks, try to readjust it, but when a better model comes out at a competitive price, what will you do? You’ll replace it without thinking twice.
The mechanism is the same. Narcissus chooses a prey, uses her to fill his ego and feel like a better and satisfied person, but when he gives him everything he can, he will simply look elsewhere. And this vicious circle, like a hamster wheel, will continue forever. Especially if you see him come back, he’ll start again, but this time knowing your weaknesses better.
But there is more…
The person you lost your mind about doesn’t exist. Have you ever wondered why is he so good at seducing? Because he uses the technique of the mirror. So, recreate the image of the person you want him to be and when you mirror yourself you will see a wonderful person. But behind this metaphorical mirror there is nothing. There is emptiness, and it is that emptiness that he tries to fill by changing so many partners.
If you’re wondering if he ever felt anything real about you, there was probably something but not what you imagine or said he felt. A narcissist is not always an evil person who necessarily wants to do harm to others, very often there are people who have only some traits of the disorder and therefore try to love saying what they think is right to say in that situation.
Unfortunately, they do not know how to distinguish love from hate. They feed on strong emotions, emotions that derive from the real conquest. At some point these will go away and he will need more.
So does it really make sense to try to figure out how to win back a narcissist?
And that’s where we wanted to go. Trying to figure out how to win back a narcissist and then get back into a relationship that looks like a chess game, can it really make you happy? Is it okay to win back someone who isn’t the person you thought he was, but who plays a part?
Of course, you have to answer these questions, and every case is its own. You can’t penalize someone for the situation they’re in or lump it all together. But the best way forward is to ask for help from someone who knows the situation more closely. Besides, being able to make a narcissist fall in love is not possible, especially if he’s pathological.
You will often notice that friends and family will tell you that it is better to leave it alone and you will stubbornly think that they do not understand the situation because they have not had an affair with him. They didn’t feel as special as he made you feel special, and that’s correct! Besides, you had the relationship with him, not them.
But there is more…
An outside eye is able to see the story from a different point of view. In addition, a person who really knows you, even if he does not know your Narcissus directly, knows how you are and knows when you are well or when you are not happy. Therefore, their advice is worth gold. But it is right to leave the benefit of the doubt and always think with your own head.
The correct method to understand how to win back a narcissist is simply to rely on a therapist, explain the situation to him and face a path that will ensure you make the right choice. Eliminating the possibility of getting into a relationship that might not make you as happy as you should be.