Can you get married and have a narcissistic husband without first realizing it? The answer is yes! Despite the possible alarm bells, his weapons of seduction and persuasion can succeed in getting his victims at the altar without knowing who they are dealing with! For this reason, it is essential to recognize his characteristics.
- How to recognize a narcissistic husband?
- So what to do in this situation?
- Is there a way to defend yourself?
- How to subdue a narcissistic husband?
- How to Get Rid of a Narcissistic Husband?
- How to Leave a Narcissistic Husband?
- How to part with a narcissistic husband?
- How to Manage a Narcissistic Ex-husband?
How to recognize a narcissistic husband?
There are simple signals that can make us understand if we are dealing with a husband narcissus or not!
- He often criticizes you. Any excuse is good to prove he’s better than you.
- He doesn’t agree to make mistakes. Every time you try to point out a mistake, he will try to blame you.
- Unfortunately, He’s jealous of your successes. Whether you are successful at work or otherwise, you will not be able to feel sincere admiration for you, but only jealousy. Narcissistic husband is able to lie. He is so accustomed to not being sincere that noticing his lies can be complex.
- Also, he loves to be the center of attention. When we do not talk about him loses interest, stops listening, does not bear not to be constantly idolized.
- He doesn’t care about other people’s feelings. He lacks empathy and does not care, remember that apart from himself he can not feel real and genuine feelings. He doesn’t care about your pain or your sadness until they hurt him, too.
So what to do in this situation?
A relationship with a narcissistic husband from the beginning is not an easy task. He has a tendency to betray, lie, manipulate… All things that prevent you from having a healthy and egalitarian relationship. It’s not his victim who’s on the wrong side, even though he’ll do anything to make it look the other way.
He loves to have everything under control and sees his partner as a kind of puppet ready to do whatever he wants. The only way to limit his behavior is to react! You have to stop humoring him and have passive behavior and start at amounts.
Is there a way to defend yourself?
More than defending yourself, the most important thing is trying to diminish the power he has over you. You have to start saying no to him. He may have misplaced demands on you, trying to get away from others to take control, to undermine your self-esteem by making you believe that it’s not enough.
You want to defend yourself? Then show him you’re worth it and you’re aware of it. Believe in yourself, make new friends, rejoice in your successes, and don’t let his words affect you. If that’s not enough, the only solution is to get away from him. Leaving a manipulative narcissist is difficult, it costs a lot of effort, there is all the willpower possible but it allows you to stop being a victim of his abuses and manipulations.
How to subdue a narcissistic husband?
Attempting to subdue or dominate a narcissistic husband can prove risky and plunge you even deeper into his web. There are strategies you can put in place, but remember that he is very smart and may understand that you are trying to manipulate him in turn, making it even more complex.
The first thing to do is to make yourself less available. Being accustomed to having you at his disposal constantly already, this would destabilize him. He begins to dictate the rules and not to respect those imposed by him. Make yourself unavailable, make yourself desired, show him that your attentions are not exclusively for him.
However, it is important not to trigger narcissistic anger in any way, which in many cases could become very dangerous. If you do not know how to act and you are afraid of his reaction, it will be an excellent idea to ask for help from a psychologist who will help you along the way.
You don’t have to emulate the narcissist, of course, but use his techniques to your advantage to make him understand what it’s like with his behavior and to take away his power. It is not said, however, that these behaviors really solve the situation: remember that this is a personality disorder!
How to Get Rid of a Narcissistic Husband?
You realized you were with a narcissist, you framed him, you tried to defend yourself, you tried to subdue him, and nothing worked? Then it’s time to get rid of him. The end of a marriage is never easy, but when it comes to ending with a narcissist, it is even less so.
To get rid of him, the first thing you need to do is make a change for yourself. You might need the help of an outsider, maybe a friend or family member to give you strength. Even a specialist to talk to and analyze your situation would be helpful and help you better understand the dynamics of your situation and how to behave.
Remember that you are not a weak person even though he may have convinced you: it’s just awe. Asking for help is not a shame at all, in fact, understanding that you need it is the first step towards self-awareness.
How to Leave a Narcissistic Husband?
Okay, it’s time to leave him, where to start? To be able to complete the closing of the marriage, it is essential to move away from him. Living with him and seeing him every day would make you too exposed, and you could fall victim to his lies again.
Even if it will be difficult, the best choice is to try to find another place to stay, maybe let someone host you if you can’t afford it and don’t let them know where you’re going. Try to limit your contacts to the bare minimum, that is, for the legal honors you will face. Obviously, this has to be handled as far as possible and as far as your current situation is concerned.
If you succeed, remember never to meet him alone. If you have to discuss something that is separation of assets, children or other always do so in the presence of others, preferably a lawyer. And once you start this path, don’t go back! The narcissus would otherwise realize that they really have you in their power and that even though you have tried to rebel against his manipulations, you are in fact under their control.
How to part with a narcissistic husband?
If you decide to part with him, don’t expect him to accept your decision. He can’t accept to be left behind and above all not to have full control over you. He’ll leverage the fact that without him you can’t stay, that his presence is paramount, that you’re not strong or independent enough.
In order to complete a separation, you need to be absolutely sure of your skills and your work. Do not be tempted by his words, do not delude yourself that he might change: his words are just to charm, a bit like the sirens’ song. Always keep in mind that lying is great for him, he could promise you anything to try to convince you to go back on your own path.
How to Manage a Narcissistic Ex-husband?
When we talk about a narcissistic ex-husband we have to make a first big distinction: are there any middle children? In fact, according to this totally changes the way we manage and relate.
If you have no children and therefore nothing binds you the thing to do to close all contact with him. Change the number, block it, get it out of your life, and act like it’s never been there before. Don’t stay on friendly terms, don’t hear it or see it once in a while. He not only manipulates his partner but every person around him so being separated or divorced will not change his desire to subdue you. It is crucial not to have any kind of effusion or intimate contact with him since it would give him the confidence to have you back in his grasp.
If there are children in the middle, the speech changes because you have obligations towards him and vice versa. The important thing is to limit contact with those you must have. Don’t ever be alone with the two of you and don’t worry about the influence it might have on your children. It is true that as a parent he will always try to show himself as the best, the rest wants to be the best in everything. Remember, however, that children are influenced by both parents so it is assumed that their relationship will not necessarily affect his behavior. In extreme cases, if you experience problems with your children, you may ask for help from a psychologist who is able to study with you a path adapted to your needs.
As we have analyzed in this article the management of a marriage with a narcissist is complex. If you are in this situation, never be ashamed to talk about it and ask for help, remember that you did nothing wrong! Becoming aware of what you are experiencing and starting a therapy is the best choice you can make.
Be strong and remember that, in small steps, you can at any time get out of his manipulation and take over the reins of your life.