➤ Narcissistic Coworker: How to Bear It?

The workplace is often the den of narcissistic coworkers, but it is not always easy to find them, especially if they are part of the Covert category. What if you realized that your coworker is part of this category?

Reacting in the wrong way could complicate your professional life and make the working environment unbearable. But let’s go step by step and see how to recognize the narcissistic coworker and relate to him to cushion his negative influence!

Contents

How to recognize a narcissistic coworker?
How to deal with a Narcissistic Coworker?
If this doesn’t work…

How to recognize a narcissistic coworker?

After discussing the subject of the narcissistic boss, we now try to understand how the mind of a coworker works. Assuming that you can usually meet the two most common types: Overt and Covert.

Overts are much easier to recognize. Usually they are decidedly charismatic people, able to fascinate and arouse consensus in others. They are characterized by a huge ego, they love to talk about themselves, their successes not only at work but in every field of work.

Their every move is designed to have gratification from others, their life is like a constant game of chess in which they must remain lucid to always be able to appear as perfect and irreplaceable. They tend to always belittle the work of others, especially those who succeed in gaining more success or are loved by coworkers and superiors. In this constant struggle to be the best, they tend to play devious games to take on the unfortunate person on duty. Among other things, faults that do not belong to him and that are often the narcissist himself.

He can’t apologize, he can’t admit he made a mistake. For him, even a small criticism becomes something unforgivable and for which to meditate revenge.

Coverts can blend in better and longer. At first, they are likely to pretend to be friendly and empathetic, but their tactics are just a tactic. Their goal is to gather as much information as possible about their victim so that they can manipulate and control it. They may voluntarily misrepresent a sentence or comment to put the person in a bad light and scorched the earth with coworkers and superiors.

They can make you believe that you’re the only person they can trust, that they can freely confide in you, often by lying about what other people have told them about you. At the basis of this behavior, there is a strong envy that leads them to ruin as much as possible the life of the other person, making it sad and empty. As soon as they realize that you have understood their game they try to regain your trust, to convince you of their good faith and, once you hit the goal, they will start to make your job impossible again!

How to deal with a Narcissistic Coworker?

Dealing with narcissistic coworkers is a bit like walking on a minefield: just a misstep and everything goes up in smoke.

You have to try to maintain a proper balance with them to give them as little power as possible. First you should avoid providing personal information that might be used to your detriment. Keep your chatter to a minimum and don’t tell him anything you wouldn’t tell even to a complete stranger. Don’t go into too much personal talk, whether it’s business or family.
The narcissistic coworker needs confirmation, compliments: he loves to be flattered but he immediately understands when someone does it just to manipulate him. It is therefore very important that we only congratulate him sincerely on something he was really good at. He can sense fake admiration miles away.
It’s imperative we never take your criticism personally. You have to be aware that he will try to break down your self-esteem just to feel superior: don’t let him do it!
In any case, you avoid the direct confrontation: to get angry would prove to the narcissist that you have touched a sore point and would allow him to leverage us whenever he wants to provoke you and make you react to go on the side of reason.
Try to always have evidence of what you say to him, you can have a witness to attend your conversations or put everything important said in writing (for example communicating it via e-mail). Because the narcissus is very good at confusing ideas and getting to make their victim believe that everything he says is simply the result of delusions and fantasies, using the famous technique of gaslighting.
He can be very vindictive. Every criticism must be seasoned with compliments to cushion their reaction, the positive reinforcement with them works very well.
You may also try to ally yourself with him even if you risk falling into his own behaviors. But even being manipulated without even realizing it is very high.

If this doesn’t work…

It may be that, despite having framed the person in question being certain that it is a narcissistic manipulative coworker and tried to contain it does not work. Sometimes the situation is too complex to handle on your own and you need to ask for outside help. The help in question can be given by other coworkers, perhaps victims of the narcissist like you, by a superior or an expert.

Don’t be afraid to do so, the fact that you need support doesn’t make you a weak and manipulable person, but rather a strong one. We are forced to talk about these things, we must fight against doubts and fears, but we must do so. So react, act and find a balance that makes your workplace a peaceful place to go without anxiety.

If even so you can’t contain your narcissistic coworker, the final solution is to change. Ask if possible to change branch or staff or change work directly. You may feel like you’ve won it over your coworker, but the truth is, nothing is as good as your mental serenity.

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